Friday, February 23, 2007
HELLO !
been quite a wk eh .
mon & tue slackin at hm .
loads of visitors of e a sudden . wth
e three days of sch passed by real fast .
seriously .
& im totally addicted to my 7pm channel U show .
hahas . that’s y I hve been gg hm early nowadays .
lols. now u noe .
so yeah , today .
quite slack oso ah .
practically dozing off durin first period itself .
lack of sleep ah . or jus plain bored in class .
doodling lyk mad .
I miss my lecture pad . but I shall nt buy any dis yr .
confirm filled wif pgs of crap .
which are written durin lessons .
blahblahblah .
oh yeah . finally . I found hope in ONE subject .
BIOLOGY ! hahas .
neva study as hard as chem or phy
oso can score . how weird .
hais . I finally passed amths . lyk finally can .
but stil nt happy . cos careless .
damn it . when is that word comin out of e dict ?
so anw , after sch .
went out wif hazlin .
been quite awhile out wif her alone .
I mean . yeah , we sit beside each other in class .
But diff lahs . in class . crapping lyk mad .
Outside , crapping lyk HELL !
Hahas . finding present 4 SOMEONE but to no avail .
ahem . hahas .
u gt me thinking .
I mean . I hve been asked a lot of questions CONNECTED to that .
But no one had been so straight 4ward .
I noe that is wat dey probably wan to ask .
But yeah . dey did nt dare anw .
E ans is no . I mean it shuld b lahs .
If it is yes rite . Im in deep trouble .
Seriously .
I wil neva be able to get out of that situation .
Too scary . ahh ! jus e thought of it .
but wat if eventually, e ans is yes ??
aiyo. *touch wood*
okok .
shuld b concentratin on CT now .
nt dis . so nt important ( rite .. )
ahh . need to study lyk mad .
mus do well .
wait hp kena confiscated how .
aiyoo . die .
ok ppl . nites ! =)
7:38 AM
Friday, February 16, 2007
finally .
I gt it .
understood dis feeling .
dis bloody irritating feeling in me .
4 e past few days .
i am jus nt satisfied wif my life.
yupp . I jus realised it .
I mean thr is ntin wrong bout my life now .
kinda average . nt big probs .
but i m jus nt fully satisfied .
& dis is cos . I realized tt I dont ever get wat I want .
Get it ? wat I want . wat I desire .
Wat I really want . wat I noe wil make me satisfied & happy .
yeah .
& y dis is e case ? cos I give in to everyone else .
my WANTS&needs are secondary compared to my frens or family.
I mean I feel tt by makin dem happy . I wuld b happy .
i m happy . seriously . but jus nt satisfied .
loads of stuff I do 4 dem . end up in me losing out on something .
& sometimes tt something is something I really want .
So yeah . I usually think nvm . I m doin something gd .
I makin someone else happy . I shuld b happy 4 dem .
But dis happiness is short-lived .
Soon later , some other prob pops up & ruins everything .
& sometimes I secretly think . damn . wasted .
Frens ask u 4 help .
How can u refuse to help .
I mean u hang out wif dem .
Laugh wif dem . cry wif dem .
So yeah . somehow try 2 do ur best to help.
Unfortunately 4 some . dey hve ungrateful frens .
Hu wil thank u . & e next day practically 4get u even helped him/her .
If u gt such a fren . den gd luck to u ah .
Everytime u help dem . u wil end up cryin e next day .
Emotional torture .
Ppl argue wif u . den u argue bck .
I mean eventually someone has 2 give in .
So I always think tt I might as well b e so-called better person .
& give in . take e blame . say sorry .
I dont lose anything , do I ?
I get my fren bck . & tt is all tt matters . rite ?
Is it right 2 think lyk tt ? I duno .
But tt is wat I do . & wat I m used to doin.
To e extent tt ppl might nt realise wat I m tryin to do ahh .
But tt is nt e pt now anw ……
I give in to ppl 2 e extent tt it is practically part of me .
why ? cos I fear loneliness .
I fear I wil lose tt someone if I dont give in 2 dem.
so yeahh .
jus give in to ppl lahs . & help dem . do ur best 2 do wadeva dey need .
but mus b reasonable ah .
dont b so stupid & navie & do dumb stuff 4 dem .
dey gt hands & brains to do stuff too u noe .
think b4 u give in . think of e consequences.
& rmb ur needs&wants once in awhile.
Help urself .u need to feel satisfied in life too.
not ur frens onli.
SO, since I hve been in such GIVE-IN-LOSE-SOMETHING situations alot lately.
It explains dis NOT-satisfied-wif-life feeling ahh .
yeah .
Anyway. dis feeling doesnt mean I wont help anyone lahs .
Of course I will ahh . I hve always been here . & always wil .
I stil want 2 make u guys happy . =)
So yeah . dont worry bout dis feeling . wont last long .
& sorry . if I give u some kinda look .
I might jus b thinking & happened 2 look at u .
yeah.
jus a phase . yupyupp .
take care ppl . =)
7:52 AM
Saturday, February 10, 2007
I m so nt jealous lahs .
heck ah .
I think so much bout my frens .
I forgot bout my other half of clowns .
hais .
I m sad okies . & jealous .
yes . jealous .
Cant believe I m sayin it ? yes .
JEALOUS !
new yr resolution gg down e drain .
e resolution nt 2 get jealous easily .
damn it .
e whole wk . was filled wif jealousy .
firstly , blahblahblah . ahh .
den now . blahblahblah .
too complicated 2 explain.
& I do nt wan 2 mention names .
By telling e story alr , e ppl ivovled wil understand tt I m tokin bout dem .
& e worse of all . dis ppl r gd @ reading betwn e lines .
So ya . beta nt take e risk . & get myself in2 trouble .
yupyup.
So today was e johor trip .
Hmms . no aida =(
Bored okies . seriously .
Felt lonely in e bus .
I mean nt tt I hve no frens lahs .
Of course I joined dem in wadeva dey did or crapped bout .
But it was jus weird .
yeahh . came sch wif a long face alr .
kinda obvious . says clown . rite clown ?
hmms . duno ah . lasted most of e trip .
but thr were fun parts .
e planations . oil palm & pineapple . rice oso .
took pics here & thr .
actually toked wif lorraine dey all in e bus & durin lunch.
Quite interesting actually .
Benjamin was thr 2 entertain me. Hahas . thx ah .
& u . hahas . anyhow call me action ah . lols .
& e way u put it is , lyk as though I started it can.
Hahas . =)
Anw . e jealousy carried on throughout e day .
Diff places , diff ppl .
Hmms . wadeva eh .
Tired ah . mentally . physically .
Hais . go sleep ah .
No hope in u callin anw ah clown .
Say onli . ahh .
Nites ppl .
9:12 AM
Friday, February 09, 2007
hahas . fine . it has been a long time .
so what . I tried bloggin okies . believe me lahs .
I culdnt post e entry . so yeah .
been hvin probs wif my connection .
& I only come online on lyk fri ? sat ?
yupp . so dont expect much lahs .
hahas . I oso duno if I can post dis anw .
so if u r reading dis , den gd 4 u lahs .
so anw . jan is over .
feb is here . it is lyk wat . 9 alr ?
e last 2 wks of jan were ok .
let me recap abit ah .
hmms .
there was e flag day . ok ah .
meeting rosli . hahas . fun .
den wat ah . hmms .
naiimah & chan burfdaes .
interesting presents rite ? hahas .
skipped all my netball trgs . hmms .
loads & loads of tests . did ok 4 most of it ah .
feb =)
thaipusam ! hahas . interesting day .
since I was entertained e whole way by someone .
hu I wuld least expect 2 sms me . hahas .
it was interesting indeed . hahas .
went to 2 sch soccer matches . lols .
at least I went & support ah . hahas .
oh yeah , sg won e asian cup . yup yup .
JJC open hse . hahas . funny lahs .
esp fazee on e rides . hahahas .
onli ppl hu took e ride wif her wuld understand wat I meant .
rite clown ? hahas .
overall , fun ah . yup yup .
so yeah . this wk oso ok ah .
tests & more tests . hahas . expected by now rite ?
& today was e o’level results .
damn. I wasnt even collectin any results & yet .
my hair was standin . wat a scary feeling . argh .
now I m afraid . veri scared indeed .
I duno wat 2 expect . duno if I wil end up in a gd jc .
hais . duno ah . uncertainty . hmms .
okok . enuf of sad stuff .
so anw . I hve been a gd mood nowadays .
I mean thr r stuff stil on my mind . but I try 2 let it control me when i m alone onli .
yupps . tml is e humans trip 2 johor .
excited ? nt reali .
nt reali bothered . jus another reason 2 b wif my frens .
I mean dis yr I wil take any chance 2 b wif my frens .
Cos it is our last yr ? & cos dis yr we wil rarely get 2 hang out wif each other .
yupps .
so yeahh . gona work hard .
& congrats 2 all my frens hu gt bck deir hmt results .
esp my wife , aida . A1 sehh . hahas .
& poor aida . her eyes . aiyoo . stupid boy .
Take care okies dear ! hahas .
Nites ppl . I hope dis entry can b posted ahh . hahas .
both of u taking turns ah ? wadeva ah . do wat u wan . say wat u wan oso . nt gg to complain .
7:12 AM
